Humor the Fool
by Crime-against-me
Summary: Harry has a theory dealing with the Elder wand, so he puts it to use, he's got nothing to loose.  accidental  Time Travel.    Discontinued on my old account What you dont kow can kill you and reposted here.
1. Chapter 1

Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/General - Published:06-20-09 - Updated: 06-20-09

Humor the Fool

Disclaimer: I do not Own Harry Potter, or the concept of Time Travel, I don't even own this idea, JK does though I doubt she realises it yet, and if she ever read this she would probably say it wouldn't happen the way I am plotting it. Thus I do not I Own Anything but the shirt on my back, since the pants are my sisters and wait...I opwn my shoes, my mom wouldn't buy them cause she hated them...why Am I telling you this is the Disclaimer Section?

Summary: Time travel. Harrys got a theory that deals with the Elder Wand, sorta, he thinks if he forfits his life willingly someone else will take his place, Ie Neville, but this doesn't happen, time rewinds and he gets a second chance.

Prolouge

"I could have killed you whenever I wanted," Voldemort sat on his muggle dias, looking down at the defeated soul of Harry Potter. Who knew all you had to do was kill his bestfriends and he would give up? That foolish Bellatrix almost cost him the war! But no, he had arrived soon enough to dispatch that mudblood from life, and that foolish Weasley couldn't control his anger, and came storming at him. Harry had reached the hall just as the Weasleys' body began to fall. His face so full of anguish and pain as he ran towards the boy, as if he could catch the lifeless body before it hit the ground, but dead wieght falls fast. He screamed the boys name just as his head hit the floor. He picked it up, like it was made of glass and would break at any second, he pulled the head to his chest staring down at it in disbelief, as if his eyes would flutter open.

And that look he gave him! So full of rage, Voldemort smiled, remembering those bloodshot eyes glaring up at him, loathing him, out for his blood. And Harry attacked.

Oh, how he had attacked! So much potential, he came at him wand drawn, casting nonverbal spells that even Voldemort hated to admit, he did not know. But Harry hadn't know either, he had only wanted to _cause_ the utmost harm, had wanted Voldemort to feel _unimaginable_ pain worse than the cruciatus, so blinded was he in his wants, that he left several openings. Voldemort had humored him, a mistake he would not make again, and had allowed Harry to keep attacking throwing up shields and counterspells.

Voldemort winced behind his hand, he had been so sure that the boy could do nothing to him, that he was so open-leaving himself defenseless-that Voldemort could strike and kill whenever he wanted, that He too, let his gaurd down. And now...Voldemort shifted, inwardly hising in pain, Harry had managed to lay one on him. A curse, a bloody, pink curse had hit him. He had thought it a simple disarming charm and through up a weak _protego,_ the pink jet of smoke, fire, and light and ash, broke thorugh his shield and hit his left leg. Now he had a permenant limp, anything dealing with his left thigh caused him a great deal of pain.

As Voldemort fell clutching his injured arm with his unoccuppied hand, Harry had stood above him triumphant, he stopped casting and began to gloat, but as Voldemort raised the Elder Wand once more, and shock filled those green eyes, a simple _Impedimenta_, and Harry Potter was caught.

"..." Harry whispered.

"What was that? Speak up Mr. Potter, you are so far below me, I simply cannot hear." Voldemort said with glee.

"And it cost you," Harry whispered louder, the Death eaters holding him up shook his shackles causing him to stumble forward a bit before he regained his balance. His dead green eyes stared unseeing at the floor. Voldemort sneered.

"A chance Potter, a chance that will never come again!" He roared, glaring down at the boy. Harry looked up as if he knew where Voldemorts eyes had landed. Green eyes locked with red one's . Voldemort shuddered, though to anyone else he shook with anger...Those eyes...those faultless eyes...He looked away and leaned back, regaining his calm demeanor in seconds.

"Let the world know, that their last hope, the Boy-Who-Lived, has been defeated. That if they surrender now, we will be...more...merciful." The Deatheaters bowed and hurriedly left. "Leave us," He ordered the remaining soon the only ones who remained were Harrys Gaurds. "You too," He hissed. The hesitated as they stepped back, something Voldemort himself would torture anyone else for, but he was feeling generous today. When the door closed filling his hall with absolute silence save for the two of them breathing, Harry fell to his knees, causing the chains to clink musically.

"They'll never surrender..." He said brokenly, as if he did not even believe his own words, such was the fate of a shattered hope.

"Some...some will,Harry, Others...others will attempt to wage this war on an open battlefield only to meet death." Voldemort whispered, leaning back on his throne, idly stroking a bone carved armrest.

"You Won't win," Harry hissed.

"Oh, Harry," Voldemort cooed, standing up from his seat, taking one step at a time down from his dias, favoring his right leg. At the bottom e slowly began to circle the boy like a vulture, barely hiding his limp in his excitement. "Don't you see? I won, I already Won...the moment you gave up, I _**won**_!" Voldemort let one thin pale blue finger stroke an untidy piece of black hair out of the boys face."Once they see that their _Precious_ boy-who-lived, Harry Potter, their_ Saviour _has given up hope...Slowly, slowly but surely, they too will give up hope."

"They don't need me!" Harry yelled, grasping at straws, broken straws. "Their are others more capable than me fighting."

"Harry...Dear little Harry...If only that were the case..._If_!" Voldmort laughed, threading more fingers into that silky black hair, once he had a fist full, his grip tightened, twisted, and pulled, forcing Harry's head back. Faultless green eyes locked with triumphant mocking red ones. "You were the only one who could defeat me. Even if there were some who could, they would be to guilt ridden to fight back in time. they put too much faith in you boy, and now that faith has been crushed."

"Guilt ridden? Why should they feel guilty?" Harry asked confused.

"Emotions are such a weakness." Voldemort said. "They feel guilty because they play on those _what ifs_,...what if I had helped him?What if, What if I had been there?"Voldemort pretended to be a snivelling wizard and only managed to look more revolting.

Again silence.

"We can still beat you," Harry's voice quivered, as if he doubted his own words.

"How?" Voldemort humored him."How, Harry do you think...No, Why do you think you can still win?"

Green eyes locked with red ones looking defiant, no longer dead but filled with some sort of resolution. "You haven't killed me yet."

Voldemort scoffed, stared at the boy, and began to laugh. "Harry," Voldemort said trying to contain his chuckles. "Do you want me to kill you?" he giggled.

"Yes."

Voldemort froze and stared in disbelief at the boy in front of him, letting go of those lochs in his shock. He glared watching the boy with suspicious eyes. "You...want...to die?"

"Yes." Harry said.

"Why?"

"You said so yourself, you won."Harry said.

"So you r just going to give up?" Voldemort scoffed, he narrowed his eyes further."No!" he yelled. "why do you want me to kill you?"

"It's what you've wanted isn't it?'Harry asked.. "You only win once I'm dead. Thats the prophecy, Neither can live while the other survives, you can't win till I'm dead."

"Your trying to trick me!" Voldemort accussed.

"Maybe I am. But until you kill me, something will happen to free me, we'll duel again, and maybe this time I'll win."

Silence. Voldemort thought about what the boy said. something...surely the boy was up to something. the moment he went to kill him, yes, his spell would hit the chains causing them to break, yes, and then...then Potter would make a run for it whilst all his Deatheaters were away, yes, he would have an army waiting for him just outside his hideout!

"Your planning-"

"I'm not planning anything!" Harry cut him off. "You can't keep me alive, just like I can't save you. One of us has to die!"

"Save me, Potter?" Voldemort sneered, almost laughing once more, tickled by this slip of tounge.

"Hermoine and Ron sid it was impossible too, for you to feel remorse, the only way for you to get your soul back together in one piece."

"And why, Mr. Harry Potter, would you want to save me? after all, I did kill your parents."

"Fine!" Harry yelled miffed. "I used the worng word, I can't keep you prisoner, I can't kepp you alive and lock you up because you would escape."

"Of course-"

"then so could I." Harry said.

Voldemort paused. Allowing silence to lapse again.

"Your the only one who can kill me, I'm the only one who can kill you. We can't both make it out of this war alive. Kill me now and you win. No one can defeat you, I'm the only thing standing in your way to victory."

"Exactly, Only you-"

"And everyone else who believes in me. Who were so guilt ridden that they didn't fight with me than that they fight with me now." Voldemort listened. "Everyone who feels responsible for letting me get caught, coming to break me out." He was right, Voldemort thought, a whole army of withes and wizards attacking everyone of his hideouts and head quarters searching for one boy. They would overtake his Deatheaters by shere numbers, no longer cowards they would not retreat they would advance forward.

"So you want me to kill you." Voldemort said.

"Your the only one who can."

"You...are letting me win?"

"You killed my reason for fighting." Harry said attempting to hold back tears.

"There are others, there are always others!" Voldemort hissed. Why was he stalling, why didn't he get it over with already, why didn't he just end this stupid conversation.

"They don't matter."

Silence.

"Kill me." Harry repeated. "Finish what you started the night you killed my parents."

As Voldemort raised his wand, Harrys once dead green eyes filled with life again, Voldemort froze.

"KILL ME!" Harry roared, the tears finally falling.

And Voldemort whispered those two beautiful fatefull words, and as Harrys body began to cool, He climbed back up the dias no longer hiding his limp, and as he sat, he could not help but think he had made yet another mistake when dealing with Harry Potter. And though Voldemort did not notice it, Time Froze and began to rewind.

Chapter One: No one knows and Doesn't tell

It's a funny thing...Death. When Harry died he didn't feel a thing, it was like his mind finally shut down and went to sleep. But Death and Fate are lovers and have always been cruel to him...Harry felt his mind turn back on, he could feel the restlessness return to his body, like he needed to move, he could feel the air enter his lungs, lungs that should have closed upon his death. He could feel his heart beat in his chest, pumping blood into his viens, a heart that should not be beating.

When Harry opened his eyes, his life flashed before him, he gasped unable to breathe, was this his death. His life playing back to him, rewinding everyday and playing and moving onto the next. He almost cried when he watched Voldemort kill his mom and dad, but he did cry when he saw the baby him flying on a broomstick, laughing and living with his family. Harry blinked and it was all over, he was standing on the platform 9 3/4 waiting to board the train that would take him to Hogwarts.

"Is this the End?" he asked aloud to Hagird.

The giant looked down confused, but amusement suddenly flit across his face. "No Har'y, th's 's only th' Begin'ng!" Howgwarts Express blew its whistle, a last minute warning that the train would soon be departing. "Go on, Har'y! I'll be Meetin' y'u at Hogwarts'!"

Harry Laughed, a sound that was so innocent and happy, a wistful note he hadn't been able to express in a long time. "See you at Hogwarts than!" He yelled walking towards the train.

He sat in the same compartment that he did on his first train ride, he didn't know why he could remember it, but it was a part of him. The first place he had met Ron and Hermoine...and ran into Malfoy and his goons.

Ron popped his head in and timidly asked if he could join him. "Everywhere else is full," the redhead blushed.

"Sure, go right ahead." Harry smiled gesturing to the seat across from him. Ron gave a sigh, looking thankful and sat down.

"Name's, Ron Weasley," Ron held out his hand, smiling.

"Harry Potter." He smiled taking the hand and giving it a firm hand shake.

"So...so it's true then," Harry smiled sadly, "you really have the...the..."

"Have what?" Harry played along.

"That scar?" Harry smiled pulling his fringe up and out of the way of that lighting bolt scar.

"Wicked." Harry laughed, he hadn't remembered Ron's words before, but this brought him back.

Hermoine came in after they had gotten alot of sweats off the trolley asking about a frog named Trevor, Harry smiled and said they hadn't seen it. "Oh, are you about to do magic? Well, lets see then," Hermoine demanded of Ron.

Harry glared at the Rat after Ron tried to turn him yellow. "What's wrong Harry?"

"Shouldn't he be yellow?" Harry asked, but he was thinking of a more sickly yellow.

"Are you sure that's a real spell? I've already tried a few simple ones myself, and they've all worked for me, example..." She took the seat Ron had abandoned opposite of Harry. She brought her wand up, "Occulus Repairo." the bandanged that kept his glasses together vanished in a hissing swirl and his glasses were fixed. He took them off to look at them.

"Oh my god your Harry Potter, I've read books about you!"Hermoine gushed.

"what they say?"

"How you killed You-know-who-"

"Voldemort?" They gasped and looked at him in shock. "What?"

"You said his name!" Ron said in horror. "Your not supposed to say his name,its You-know-who, for a reason!"

"Why, And I don't know You-know-Who." Harry said.

"Because, thats the law." Hermoine said.

"That can't be a real law, beside its just a stupid superstition, and fear of a name is stupid. Beside's He's dead isn't he?"Harry argued, causing Hermoine to blush and Ron to sputter. "Personally, I don't think he's dead yet," he muttered.

"What?" they both asked.

"Nothing."Harry whispered louder. Hermoine seemed to realize the time and told them both that they should be getting into their robes.

"First ye'rs! First ye'r's this way!" Hagrid Bellowed as the students piled off the train.

"Hello Hagrid," Harry greeted. Hagrid smiled and greeted him back, whilst Ron and Hermoine gaped at the size of Hagrid.

"Fred and George said we have to battle a mountian troll!"Ron told Harry as all the first years twittered together about all the test you had to take. Hermoine seemed to be muttering all the spells she knew under her breathe.

"Nonsense," Harry laughed, catching everyones attention, Hermoine even seemed to pause in her studying. "we go in and get our names called, and Mcgonagall puts the Sorting hat on our heads and it sorts us based on what it finds in our heads!"

"How do you know that? It's not in the Hogwarts: A History. Its a ceremony that no one knows about and doesn't tell," Hermoine blushed red in annoyance wondering how this boy, even though he was the Boy-who-lived, knew something about Hogwarts that she didn't already know.

"No one knows and doesn't tell?" Harry chuckeled. "Every single idea you guys are talking about is completely Ludecrious."

"So it's true then, Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts." Draco malfoy declared.

Ron glared at Draco, draco glared back, dissed his family and offered to be Harry's real friend. "How 'bout we all be friends?" Harry asked, shaking Draco's hand.

"But he'll be in Slytherin!" Ron glared. Draco seemed to take Rons answer as a dismissal and glared at them both when he proffesor came back.

"Their ready for you now." she didn't touch the doors but they seemed to open, JUST LIKE MAGIC, and behind the doors was the Great Hall, with Four long tables filled with students. starting from the far right going left it was Slytherin, Griffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff. and on the podium was another long table for the teachers. Snape, Quirell/Voldmort, the Astronomy teacher, Hagrid, Flitwick, Mcgonangalls seat was empty obviously, Dumbledore, Trewalney, Sprout, and then Muggle studies teahcer who he never got to know.

Names were called and sorted Draco ended up in Syltherin, Ron explained how everyone was bad in that house and Harry quipped that there was evil in all the other houses to, and some slytherins had to be good because Fate loved to be a Hypocrite. When his name was called, silence filled the Hall, Dumbledore watched him walk forward, his sparkling blue eyes never left him.

The hat sat on his head and didn't say a word.

"Griffindor," He finally whispered.

"ARE YOU SURE?" The hat yelled apparently deaf. "WHY NOT SLYTHERIN, YOU COULD BE GREAT YOU KNOW ITS ALL RIGHT HERE IN YOUR HEAD, QUIET LITTERALLY SO, WELL...IF YOUR SURE, BETTER BE...GRIFFINDOR!" and the Griffindors cheered loudly everyone dissmissed the words the hat had said. Harry walked don the dias totake his rightful seat next to Hermoine and Ron. And...JUST LIKE MAGIC...the food appeared, everyone began to eat and the first years began explaining their heritage to each other.

"Proffesor Dumbledore, can I speak to you sir?" Harry asked, he had snuck away from the other first years whilst Percy was leading the way and explaining the stairs and had ran to make it to Dumbledors office before the old man had gotten here. Luckily it seemed the Proffesor had been detained several times on his way up.

"Harry, my boy, shouldn't you be in your common room by now?" Dumbledore chuckled seeing nothing amiss about the boy already knowing where his office was.

"I already know where its at, and the password, but its really important that I talk to you."

"Can't it wait till morning?" Dumbledore asked, surely it wasn't anything to big that it need to be bothered before tommorow.

"It deals with Voldemort, sir." Dumbledore looked down at the boy astonished. The light dimmmed from his eyes slightly.

"Come up to my office then, Danish Apple Pie!" He said jovially, the gargoyle stepped aside revealing a spiralling staircase.


	2. Chapter 2

Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/General - Published:06-20-09 - Updated: 06-20-09

Updated again on March 22nd 2011.

**Title**:Humor the Fool

**Disclaimer**: I do not Own Harry Potter, or the concept of Time Travel, I don't even own this idea, JK does though I doubt she realises it yet, and if she ever read this she would probably say it wouldn't happen the way I am plotting it. Thus I do not I Own Anything but the shirt on my back, since the pants are my sisters and wait...I own my shoes, my mom wouldn't buy them cause she hated them...why Am I telling you this in the Disclaimer Section?

A/N: the next chapter some of you have been waiting years for~~sorry if I made you think I was actually going to have Harry admit everything he knows. Yes, that would be a little fast~I got coffee and the Coffee has inspired the next chapter to this story; thank the coffee when you review, plz its sickeningly sweet.

A/N 2: For those who thought I was just going to come out and make Harry Admit everything about Voldemort and the Future; be happy that I didn't (: Really I am a sensible person.

**Summary: Time travel. Harrys got a theory that deals with the Elder Wand, sorta, he thinks if he forfits his life willingly someone else will take his place, Ie Neville, but this doesn't happen, time rewinds and he gets a second chance.**

**Chapter One**

_"Come up to my office then, Danish Apple Pie!" He said jovially, the gargoyle stepped aside revealing a spiralling staircase._

"Whats the matter, Harry?" Dumbledore asked.

Harry had been debating about this all day, how to explain knowledge of things to come, and he had decided to sow the seeds of deception early. "How did he find them?" he whispered hoping he put enough childish desperation and sadness in his voice. He wasn't entirely sure how he was going to get Dumbledore to figure out that Siruis was innocent and Peter was to blame but he could at least make it seem a bit more obvious.

"Harry...I don't know if this is the right time to talk about this," Dumbledore said, holding out a sherbert lemon drop. Harry shook his head at the proffered candy, any other time he might have accepted the delicious candy but tonight wasn't one of those times.

"No!" he shouted standing up, his arms locked straight at his side, he quickened his breathing a bit. "Please, sir, I need to _know_," he begged.

Dumbledore frowned sadly over his half moon glasses. The twinkle dulled a bit, his blue eyes regarding him curiously, he closed them sighing. "Alright, Harry. If you insist," he gestured for him to take a seat. "Your parents were placed under the Fidelus charm, its a ward of sorts that made them untraceable. But one person needed to know their location for it to work. Your parents entrusted their best friend, your godfather, with this information. He went to voldemort and told him where to find them to gain the dark lords favor."

Harry frowned. Why couldn't he have been told this before in his third year when he had been so mad at Sirius for something he didn't do?

"But...That's stupid...were they idoit's, sir?"

Dumbledore frowned at him, his back straightening, he couldn't believe what he had just heard. The boy had just insulted his dead parents.

"I mean, their best friend...that's so obvious...and he couldn't have been their best friend if he had been in league with Voldemort and them not knowing it, right?"

Dumbledore frowned but smiled sadly, Harry had just spoke the thoughts that had plagued him for years. "I'm not sure exactly how, or the why, that caused Sirius to betray Lily and James. And there is no need to worry, for Sirius Black is locked away in Azkaban Prison and you are here safe at Hogwarts."

"How do you not know? Didn't you ask him?"

"Hmm? Whatever do you mean, my boy?" Dumbledore asked, smiling over his half moon spectacles.

"You put him on trial, didn't you?"

Dumbledore watched the boy in front of him with a quizzical eye. He looked uncannily like James Potter, but those green eyes, and the sense of justice of which he now spoke and demanded were entirely Lilys. He wondered if the Potters were smiling down from heaven or standing behind the boy now as he tried to understand what happened elleven years ago. "No...No we did not,"

"Why not?"

"There was no need, the evidence was against him, the public wanted it over with; they didn't want to make a mockery of yourt parents death." Dumbledore said. Harry stared at him, trying to think about what to say next, the house did say he had a great mind worthy of Ravenclaw and was cunning like Salazar himself.

"What evidence?" Harry asked, thinking about Pettigrew, all he had to do was place a seed of doubt and he knew just where to start.

"Several Muggles witnessed Sirius running away from the scene when he murdered Peter Petrigrew, all that was left was Peter's finger."

"Muggles are suspectable to magic though, aren't they? They don't even see it when we vanished onto the platform at nine and three quarters. They didn't see the actual fight, did they? And a finger, really? What kind of spell would destroy the whole body without a trace and leave JUST a finger?"


	3. Chapter 3

This chapter is short but the next one will be longer I promise1!

Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/General - Published:06-20-09 - Updated: 06-20-09

Updated again on March 22nd 2011.

**Title**:Humor the Fool

**Disclaimer**: I do not Own Harry Potter, or the concept of Time Travel, I don't even own this idea, JK does though I doubt she realises it yet, and if she ever read this she would probably say it wouldn't happen the way I am plotting it. Thus I do not I Own Anything but the shirt on my back, since the pants are my sisters and wait...I own my shoes, my mom wouldn't buy them cause she hated them...why Am I telling you this in the Disclaimer Section?

A/N: the next chapter some of you have been waiting years for~~sorry if I made you think I was actually going to have Harry admit everything he knows. Yes, that would be a little fast~I got coffee and the Coffee has inspired the next chapter to this story; thank the coffee when you review, plz its sickeningly sweet.

A/N 2: For those who thought I was just going to come out and make Harry Admit everything about Voldemort and the Future; be happy that I didn't (: Really I am a sensible person.

To the person who flamed and said this story was one dimension and sloppy:::::I laughed because right after you said that i got a favorite and story allert.:::This is fanfiction and everyone has their good and bad days :) this story has 283 hits, 5 favs and 7 alerts::::and anyone who wants to flame go ahead Im just writing an idea that comes and goes.

**Summary: Time travel. Harrys got a theory that deals with the Elder Wand, sorta, he thinks if he forfits his life willingly someone else will take his place, Ie Neville, but this doesn't happen, time rewinds and he gets a second chance.**

**Chapter Two**

_"Muggles are suspectable to magic though, aren't they? They don't even see it when we vanished onto the platform at nine and three quarters. They didn't see the actual fight, did they? And a finger, really? What kind of spell would destroy the whole body without a trace and leave JUST a finger?" _Dumbledore thought about what Harry had said after he had shown the boy back to his dormitory. It seemed so long ago that the dagger of betrayl had been stabbed into the lights back when Siruis Black, a harmless wizard who only wanted to play jokes, had been the downfall of the Potters.

Accused by Muggle witness's...A body that was never found...a Sentence without trial...without Viruetisearm. Albus sighed, spreading his fingers out in front of him, observing Fawks. Fawks had loved Siruis...Fawks had also loved Tom...until he went dark. He recalled Siruis sitting in his office the night of the Potters death, laughing and accepting a lemon drop, Fawks purring under his deft fingers that always seemed to know where to scratch.

Fawks wouldn't have let him near him if he had been anywhere near Tom.

Fawks looked up at him with wise old eyes, chirping softly. Albus felt the small tune flutter with warmth through his heart. "It's late," Fawks Chirruped again. "Are you sure, old friend?" Fawks nodded. "But what if we are wrong?" Fawks chirruped and fluttered his massive wings. "You are right; we will at least have proof."


End file.
